Recent research suggests that people are hiding their kinks and fetishes – even from their partner! Though the general stigma surrounding talking about sex openly are lessening, it would appear that people still don’t feel comfortable expressing their full sexuality and we found this fascinating! One study suggested that more than a third of Americans keep their fetishes secret! Intimacy is great alone but even better shared together, so we thought we’d help you open up about your kinks and ask for what you really want in the bedroom!
Putting the Feelers Out
One sure-fire way to get a partner with the same fetishes as you is to date from the same community. There are lots of dating apps around these days, from the more general ones to ones centred entirely around different sexual preferences such as BDSM – so don’t be afraid to look there!
With the shameful statistics coming to light, lots of brands started making it easier for partners to be really honest about their sexual fantasies. Questionnaires such as this allow both sides of a couple to answer honestly about a range of sexual fantasies and kinks. You can often answer with a varied level of reaction to say what you absolutely love, what you absolutely hate and what you would and wouldn’t be open to. Only the fantasies that you both would either like or consider show up at the end – and the rest is up to you!
For those of you who don’t want to use dating apps and choose partners another way or have long-term partners, try spontaneously bringing in some of your kinks. Have toys to hand and let your partner know they are there to be used or ask, ‘How about we try something new?’ Most people are more open-minded than you might think!
Remember, your sexuality is nothing to be ashamed about so don’t be afraid to open up if you want to express that side of yourself! You never know, it could be the best thing you do for your relationship!