What Are the Most Common Sexual Fantasies?

Our biggest aim today is not just to inform you of the most common sexual fantasies, but also change the narrative surrounding them. Many people around the world feel a sense of guilt or shame about their sexual fantasies—even if it depicts activities you'd never do in real life.

This could be brought about by a number of different factors, such as how one was raised, their religious beliefs, their sense of morality, and the way in which society views activities that are "taboo". 

In all honestly however, having sexual fantasies, whatever they may be, is normal and harmless. You'd be pleasantly surprised that almost everyone has one or more fantasies that don't fit inside the "acceptable" sexual activities such as married sex, monogamous sex, heterosexual sex, and so on.

And if you're all about being creative or adventurous in the bedroom, take a peek at our adult erotic games for seemingly unending fun!

Common Sexual Fantasy

The Most Common Sexual Fantasies

So, today we're letting you in on the seven most common sexual fantasies! Perhaps you can identify with some of them, perhaps not, but whatever your thoughts, we hope that you walk away feeling more empowered about your fantasies, knowing that it's completely normal to have them.

These seven most common fantasies come from the largest study ever on the topic, and was conducted by Justin Lehmiller, a sex researcher at Indiana University's Kinsey Institute.

He took to social media and surveyed over 4,100 Americans from all different backgrounds—be it their income, race, political and religious views, sexual orientation, relationship status, and gender identities, ranging from the ages of 18 to 87.

The top three? Multiple partners, BDSM play, and sexual novelty and adventure!

sexual fantasies

1. Multiple Partner Sex

"In most folks' multi-partner sex fantasies, you're the star of the show. The idea of multiple people wanting to have sex with you is part of the turn on," says Gigi Engle, certified sex coach.

In the study, 87 percent of women and 95 percent of men loved the idea of having multiple partner sex, such as a threesome, more-somes, swinging, orgies, and gangbangs.

2. Rough Sex

Given the way in which the 50 Shades of Grey series started a conversation surrounding BDSM, and brought it more into the mainstream, another common sexual fantasy in the study was BDSM-inspired, such as rough sex, bondage, dominant-submissive trysts, sensation play, and consensual consensual sex.

The study found that 96 percent of women and 93 percent of men were interested in this kind of play, with more than three quarters intrigued by the idea of bondage play.

3.Variety & Adventure

Variety and adventure, in this sense, means the ability to try new things, sexually. Mostly, it included giving or receiving oral, having anal sex, and engaging in sex in a public place. 

The study found that 60 percent of participants fantasise about giving or receiving fellatio or cunnilingus, more than one third of men lusted after giving anal sex, and 20 percent of both men and women daydreamed about receiving anal sex. Then, more than half of the respondents fantasised about having sex in an unconventional place, like at work or at a bar.

Sexual Fantasy Study

4. Gender-Bending

In this category, the idea was to gauge whether participants were intrigued by being with someone who identified as anything else besides heterosexual. And the numbers were telling...

It showed that 59 percent of women had sexual fantasies about being with someone who identified as something other than heterosexual. Only 26 percent of men admitted to the same. (cue the cliche scene of two women making out).

5. Open Relationships

Another most common fantasy found in the study was that of consensual non-monogamy. This includes mate swapping, watching one's partner with someone else, polyamory, and emotional and sexual relationships with more than one partner.

Interestingly, more than two thirds of participants had at least once fantasised about this kind of sexual activity. Open relationships were not listed as the most common out of the seven, yet still makes the list.

6. Forbidden Sex

Whether in a sexual context or not, a lot of people are attracted to the taboo. And when it comes to forbidden sex, well, it's definitely a common sexual fantasy. 

In the study, participants revealed that they were intrigued by things such as voyeurism, exhibitionism, fetishes, and incest. Voyeurism was the most popular out of this category, with 60 percent of those in the study saying they'd fantasised about it, and fetish fantasies (sexualising nonsexual things) came in second at 45 percent.

7. Passion & Romance 

You may be surprised to learn that many participants fantasised about loving and being loved.

Interestingly however, those who reported having this fantasy admitted that it was often for someone other than their current partner, such as a deceased partner or an ex.

What Are the Most Common Fantasies?

So, do you identify with any of these most common sexual fantasies? Whether you do or you don't, just know that it's completely normal to have these feelings and inclinations. And if you do ever live them out, make sure that it's always safe, sane, and consensual.