For so many of us, sex and embracing our more intimate side feels like a luxury, when in actual fact, getting our sexual needs met is a basic need. Doing so makes us feel liberated and empowered... not to mention all of the other mental and physical benefits of it all.
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But just like anything else, our sexual health isn't always as breezy as a sunset in paradise. There are several sexual health ailments and problems that can occur, regardless of sexual orientation, gender, or state of physical or mental wellbeing.
So today, we're going to talk about orgasm anxiety, because there are millions of people around the world who are living with this condition, and may not even know it. Or perhaps you know that you have this problem, but are unsure of how to deal with it.
Let's dive deeper into orgasm anxiety so that we can all live our best sensual and sexual life... a life we all deserve.
What is Orgasm Anxiety?
Orgasm anxiety is when one is excessively focused on reaching orgasm during sexual activity. It happens for a number of reasons, but once it starts up... it can intensify, making it a vicious cycle. At times, it could even be a self-fulfilling prophecy.
By this we mean, one may get so caught up on trying to reach climax, that it consumes them during their sexual trysts. And because they're so focused on this as opposed to pleasure, the obsession itself makes it harder to actually orgasm.
This then leads to one finding it extremely difficult to enjoy the experience, to live in the moment, and to feel connected to themselves or their partner.
Additionally, those who have orgasm anxiety may equate climaxing to success. Almost like passing the finishing line, negating all of the sensual intimacy that is equally as important. For them, having any kind of sexual experience without climax means failure, which sadly, often leads to more anxiety and tension, making orgasm even less possible.
What Causes Orgasm Anxiety?
There are a number of different things that may cause orgasm anxiety. It may be due to mental, physical, emotional, sexual, and/or psychological ailments, which is why orgasm anxiety can be quite common. There is no single cause, which means that this sexual problem stems from broader issues within an individual or within a relationship.
Some of the most common causes of orgasm anxiety are:
Relationship issues: when partners have problems, it may reduce the amount of sexual intimacy and chemistry that they share. Thus, when intimacy does occur, one or both may feel an increase in pressure to reach climax.
Partner-pleasing: because many believe that orgasming equals success, when climax doesn't occur, one may feel emasculated, or worry that their partner may believe that they're not good in bed. It could also lead some to believe that their partner isn't attracted to them. In this way, one places intense importance on reaching climax, which could then equal to orgasm anxiety.
Self-esteem: there are a slew of things about one's physical appearance that may make them feel less desirable. Things such as weight gain, perceived imperfections, sounds and facial experiences made during intimacy, and more can lead to heightened levels of self-consciousness, making it even harder to climax.
Mental health: whether you've been diagnosed with a mental disorder or not, everyone has the capacity to feel mentally strained. Stress, for example, is a huge ailment experienced by nearly everyone. Experiencing stress, anxiety, depression, or other issues can be highly intrusive, so intrusive in fact that it can affect other spheres of your life, such as your sex life. These ailments, disorders, and problems can create a barrier that inhibits one from enjoying sex, and heightens one's preoccupation to climax.
Sexual health: orgasm anxiety can be present due to other sexual health issues. For example:
- anorgasmia, the inability or delay of a female to achieve orgasm
- erectile dysfunction, the inability to achieve or maintain an erection
- delayed ejaculation, the inability or delay of a male to achieve orgasm
Medication: certain medications, such as anti-depressants, can create a slew of side effects, including a loss of libido, or difficulty achieving orgasm. In this way, one might feel embarrassed or frustrated, leaving high levels of orgasm anxiety.
How to Work Through Orgasm Anxiety
Because there are so many different factors that can create orgasm anxiety, the first step in trying to work through it is to identify what's causing it. With this, you could spend some time alone for introspection, thinking about what may be causing you this issue. Additionally, if you have a partner that you're comfortable with, you could talk to them about your concerns. They may be able to put your mind at ease, or work with you in overcoming your orgasm anxiety.
Another option would be to consult a sex therapist who can then guide you on the path to eradicating your orgasm anxiety by looking at, confronting, and healing the underlying issue.
Once you've come to realise the cause of your orgasm anxiety, depending on the cause, you could opt for a solution made specifically for your trigger.
Solutions for Your Orgasm Anxiety
Medication: medicines for anxiety may be the perfect solution to help you to remove anxiety and stress, giving you more space to focus on your pleasure. You should speak with a professional before taking any anti-anxiety medication however, as some may decrease your sexual drive, thus leaving the opportunity to make your orgasm anxiety worse.
Medicines such as benzodiazepines (such as Valium or Xanax) are fast-acting, and will then allow you to assess your situation fairly quickly. These are prescription medications. Then, you may consider taking an SSRI (Selective Serotonin Re-uptake Inhibitors), aka anti-depressants, which too work with symptoms of anxiety. This kind of medication will take a few weeks to show results.
Hormone therapy: our hormones play a huge role in how we feel, in all aspects. If you've visited your health professional, they may diagnose you a hormone imbalance, which may be causing your orgasm anxiety. Here are a few solutions for a hormone imbalance:
- For women: estrogen patches, cream, or a pill can be used during menopause
- For men: testosterone injections, gel, or a patch could be prescribed. Viagra or Cialis could also be used for erectile difficulties.
- For transgendered individuals: a reassessment of hormonal therapies may be needed.
Lifestyle changes: it's highly possible that a few simply changes in your lifestyle could solve your orgasm anxiety. Exercising and keeping a healthier diet could aid in better bodily function, an increase in self-esteem, and higher levels of sexual stamina. Exercise too has a positive impact on anxiety in general.
With this information, do you believe that you may be living with orgasm anxiety? We hope you've found some relevant solutions and information to make the best and healthiest decision for you so that you can live a more satisfying and intimate sex life.